I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
