I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
