I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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