he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
