Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
