census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
