UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
