giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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