I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
