Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
