The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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