Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
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Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Mom said you looked used
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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