I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
