Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
