The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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