Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
