I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
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i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
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Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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