Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
