My hand turned me down
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
