I murdered the dance floor call the cops
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
