I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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