I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
