The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
