Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
