Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
