you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
bring money and cleavage
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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