I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
