I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
