I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This can only be settled by a dance off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
