she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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