I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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