Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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