I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
