just come out here and I will go home with you...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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