My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
