Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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