those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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