forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
