I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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