just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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