Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
