fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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