Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
