The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
