i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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