I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
