If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
