you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
