Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
