do herpes really smell.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
