I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
its liver damage thursday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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