I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
