my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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