got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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