My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
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Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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