oh god the rape fog is back!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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