You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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