Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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